Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Its almost 3 in the AM. I'm so sleepy. I can not sleep. My body will not let me sleep... but its not something that can be solved with sleeping aids. My actual body keeps me awake. I want to cry or scream or something. I just am not happy right now. If i had a scalpel I would probably self mutilate right now. I'm having one of those moments I think of all the crap that I hate about myself and say... Why me God? Why am I 25 almost 26 with more zits than ever? Why do I not have all my teeth? Why do I keep gaining weight? Why do I get headaches all the time? Why do I not have motivation to do something about the problems that need motivation? My body aches from work too.. my back has been killing me and well anyways! Pity party is over Sarah. Suck it up. I'm angry that I don't have health insurance and it seams like more than ever I can't afford to do what I want to do in life like my teeth, health insurance, wood floors, retire.. ok just a bit of weird humor but I've got to stop cuz I told myself the pity party is over Sarah... So, Suck it up.

4 comments:

Jenn said...

But you are so beautiful! You should not even be worrying about such things....and what teeth are you referring to, the ones in the back? I've never noticed any missing teeth on you!!!

Oh, and you may kill me for asking but, "Is there a chance you may be pregnant?" That could cause weight gain and body pain.

Siewert Family said...

I am sorry you are not feeling well. Bummer. I'll be prayig that you get some sleep. You are a beautiful powerful woman! You have so many talents. I saw your table that you did...it's AWESOME! Come hang out with me and Sara Beth Monday.

Siewert Family said...

That was Heather posting a comment, not Peter

wanissa said...

It breaks my heart to hear you say those things. You are a beautiful person on the outside and inside. Quit being hard on yourself. We need to have a girls night out soon. I miss you.